Survey
Sunday, 31 October 2010 10:43 pm
Didn't attend today's service because I felt kinda cheated and angry with her,
So I went Fareast with Yuxuan and Yiling,
walked from Fareast to Orchard,
was kinda tiring but FUN along the way because was sms-ing and irritating him at the same time.
Around 5 plus 6,
walked to Orchard MRT by myself because I wasn't having lunch with them.
While I was walking towards the MRT,
an Asian guy suddenly stopped me by calling excuse me,
turned my head towards his direction,
he walked towards me and asked me to do a very simple survey,
I kept rejecting him and he kept begging me to,
in the end, I agreed.
The survey wasn't a written survey, it was a verbal survey and his friend was filming.
So, the first question he asked,
"Do you know who lady gaga is and what's your impression of her?"
It's kinda a weird question,
my ANSWER was :" She's is unique and weird because of her fashion sense"
Next, he asked, "What about Mother Teresa?"
Very weird question,
ANSWERED :" As a Christian, I feel that she is a mother of mine, because she took care of catholics and Christian"
I totally have no idea why I said that,
anyway, his last question was:" What about Jesus?"
ANSWERED :" He is my Saviour, my god. He was the one who sacrificed himself to be crucified for our sins."
It was the end of the survey, shook hands with him and walked away.
Thought about the questions being asked previously,
suddenly, so many thoughts ran through my mind,
I could say so many things about who Jesus is and what I think of him,
but it was too late, the survey ended.
I could have answered in a way that all Christians would answered, which is
" Jesus is my saviour, my god, my IRREPLACEABLE god, he did not even complain even though his father,GOD, send him to be crucified for our sins, our wrong doings. He is the God who will always be by your side guiding through and be with you together with all your problems no matter what."
This is what I could have said, but I didn't!
I feel that I am such a fail Christian all of a sudden.
But ya, I still love god as much as before! :)
Tears
Friday, 29 October 2010 10:18 pm
Wondering,
what are tears for, and where does it comes from?
Was pratically crying the whole day yesterday during Kbox and after kbox,
told yuxuan, yiling of what happened,
they asked me to cry it out loud and not to keep it in my heart,
because I've tried to not cry, but on the other hand, I feel like crying.
Now, I feel like crying.
I just do not know why and what to do.
As I've counted, I've lost 11 friends including thung.
Taken a line from Christ Jesus "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do" when people try your nerves and upset you pray for them they NEED it!
So currently, HE is on my nerves, I have to pray for him right?
It have come to a point that I feel so disgusted sms-ing him.
And it had came to a point where now, I hated him so much.
Though he's the one who cheered me up when I was down caused by ERM,
and I liked him. But now, I feel the urge of scolding him.
This suck!
Friends
Thursday, 28 October 2010 8:37 am
Seriously, I have a question for everyone,
What are best friends?
In the dictionary, best friends are defined as:
Best friend, someone (singular) with whom one shares the strongest possible kind of friendship(s)
In my dictionary, best friends are defined as:
Friends whom you can share any problems with, whom you will not mind about either their past or their flaws.
This is what i called best friends.
I've to admit i lost quite a few best friends,
I should have blamed god for all that,
but instead, I have to thank him because after all the quarrels i had,
I then realised who are the friends that are real to me,
and the quarrel even dragged me closer to some other people.
Sarah once told me this:
"Praise the lord whether you triumphed or trailed"
Everyone that shared something in cell made me realised so many things in life.
Yesterday Kelly pass me a bag,
there is a bible, a small little post-it written with encouragement words and a keychain soft toy.
She didn't know who gave her the bible,
so well, I guessed that God wants me to read the bible so that I can draw nearer to him.
Yeah, I think that must be his wishes.
So many people around me are fretting over love,
Chongkai, Yitian and erm.... ( No more?)
AH~ anyway, look at what love had caused people to be!
From a very cheerful guy, become so emotional.
Ai, I told thung something yesterday.
Friends do not bother about your flaws, they only bother about your attributes. Right thung?
Well, I think that my clique of friends are having some war now,
I do not know what exactly happen,
just hope and pray that they are alright.
Just sometimes, forgive what the person had done and get over it.
What for get angry because of this kind of people like her!
Chill and get over it yeah? It's a piece of advice for Shuhui.
Let's pray for everyone now.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Father,
I thank you for guiding me through my O's and N's and every obstacles that I've encountered for the past few months and you've been the one who knows exactly what happen and how to solve it lord, you've been the one who are always with me no matter what ah lord. And lord, I want to pray for Chongkai that you can guide him through his problems now lord that you can give him strength and power to overcome what he encountered lord and that he will get over it as soon as possible lord. Lord, i want to pray for them that all of my friends will patch back as friends and not quarrel over a small matter lord. In jesus name i pray, Amen
Holidays
Friday, 15 October 2010 11:37 am
Hurray! It's H-O-L-I-D-A-Y!
It's holiday, yet I am sick.
Well still, praise the lord that I am only sick on holidays yep?
Yesterday, Shanney told me alot of of things that really make me understand alot.
I guess that God wants me to realise who are my friends and stuff.
And maybe that's a way to pull me nearer to him.
Well, I have yet be forgiven by them,
but I know I have been forgiven by God,
and no matter what,
God will always be there for me and guide me through every problems I encountered.
He made me realised who are the people who can make me happy,
and who aren't the ones.
Who are my real friends,
and who aren't.
Actually, I am kind of sick of my life the previous times where everything just happen,
I totally broke down in school,
cried in the toilet,
cried at home,
anywhere that I can cry as well as no one notices.
That was when I totally don't feel like studying when my N's are just around the corner.
That was when I went to look for Mr. Ivan lee and told him everything.
Yiling and Yuxuan went too.
The session was fun, as well as heartbreaking.
He gave me advice and motivation to study,
that is why I feel that I love studying more than I like anyone except God.
Everyone around me seems to care about me,
even Chongkai, and my teachers.
Thinking back of it, felt so happy,
but also, quite sad.
Shanney told me : 'let them know that you still can live without them.'
So, I am going to live my life to the fullest even whether I have friends or not!
Keep going! God will be there for you :)
Gossip, Smile
Thursday, 14 October 2010 6:25 pm
Totally agree with this.
But, actually gossiping about others is a sin,
betraying, lying, gossiping etc,
those are sins.
Listening to criticism boils down the humidity of people,
thus, be a gracious person and overlook wrong.
Sermon's really taught me alot of things that are useful in my life,
and in every way.
If you want people to gossip good things about you,
then you yourself should gossip good stuff about people,
then the person will know what good stuff to gossip about you.
Well, went to school today, kind of sneak out of school,
was wishing that i am able to see you today morning,
walked up the stairs of the side staircase,
guess who i saw?
HIM.! But luckily, he was looking up to the 3rd floor when i walked past him,
so relief, my heart beat faster every minute i got closer to him,
and every minute i saw him.
Totally feel like making him smile so that i can see his awesome smile.
Older
Wednesday, 13 October 2010 12:52 pm
I want to dedicate this cake to you
Happy Birthday Grace Lim Jia Wen,
I doubt you will even see this but I just want to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
May your dreams come true.
I did not chose any other random cakes from the web is because,
I know that you love spongebob and cute stuff,
And whenever you walk past any cute stuff,
you will jump for joy and shout : 'this is so cute!'
I can still remember,
there was once that we entered a kids shop with all those cute little toys,
we went in for not more than 10 mins,
you've said : 'so cute' for a million times.
There are so many memories that we had when we were friends,
but now, I guess that you wouldn't even want to hear my name.
I know you hate this particular sentence I said :
'如果你四个月没有男朋友，那我十四年没有男朋友过eh'
This sentence was said 2years ago when we were super duper close.
But we fell out, yet, we patched back as friends,
now, we fell out again.
Hope that things will get better eventually.
Got a terrible sore-throat now,
Still, thanks the lord that I am sick after my N's and not during my N's,
lord, thank you!Apologise
Tuesday, 12 October 2010 11:32 am
Agree with this, Totally!
Looking and thinking of this sentences,
thoughts ran through my mind.
Everything about my previous good friends just flashes through,
I don't know why I can't seems to get them out of my mind,
I want to stay focus with my current besties now,
but I can't,
what's wrong with me?
Sometimes I wish that I am alone,
but I am just afraid of the times being alone,
that feeling of being lonely is horrible.
People tends to think the other party is at wrong,
but actually they did something even wrong,
just that they do not know what was it.
Sometimes the stuff they said is really harmful and it is too much,
but they treat it as they were just joking,
but to the victim of their words,
the feeling of it ain't like it was joking,
it kind of hurts.
But when the culprit said SORRY,
you tends to forgive him/ her because she/ he is important in your life,
this applies to friendships too.
But I guess my friends will never be my friends back because the mistakes I did was horrendous.
Well, I should love my life more than anyone,
so....
I should get on with it and not dwells on it.
I should pray for everyone who had problems now okay? :D
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Father,
I want to pray for my friends who are going through all the difficulties that had encountered and that, you will guide them through it all lord, and that they can entrust their problems to you lord, and that the days will get better day by day lord, and father, I want to pray that no matter what happens to them, you will guide them through it lore like what you did to me lord. Father, I want to thank you for guiding through all my difficulties, though it had not been resolved yet, lord, I want to thank you for being there for me always. And father, I pray that you can give me the power and courage to bring and lead people into christ lord. In jesus name I pary, Amen.
Thoughts
Friday, 8 October 2010 11:04 am
People say that, if you see a shooting star, make a wish.
Sometimes I am wondering,
does shooting stars really exist?
Even if they do, does the wish humans made happen?
If it does, how I wish I can see and experience a shooting star now,
because I made a really huge mistake that caused myself to lose so many good friends.
I really regret for what I've done,
but in the chinese verse it goes like this "泼出去的水，是无法收回的"
I guess that it is correct.
Whatever I've said/ done,
it's impossible for me to get it undone.
The only way I can do is to say 'Sorry' and hope that they will forgive me.
I still remember, before I posted such insulting stuff on facebook,
the devil had total control of me,
my mind was blank and I did not know what I am doing.
Now, the evil know what my weaknesses are,
and he is trying to worsen it to affect my studies,
well, its my point of view.
Everyone sin,
but when they beg for forgiveness,
the party forgive them,
but when I beg for their forgiveness,
why don't they forgive me?
I know the things that I've done wrong,
I just wish to have them back as friends.
Sometimes, I really wish I could talk to them,
but I doubt they will talk to me since they hate me so much.
Thoughts are just a one-sided view of yours.
Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. ~Napoleon Hill
I totally agree with this sentence.
For mine, some are successes but some are failure.
But do not afraid of trying, do afraid of not trying.
I suppose I had to think twice before trying.
Relax
Wednesday, 6 October 2010 10:54 am
Try guessing what made this painting up,
I bet you can't figure out what this painting is made up of,
well, I'll reveal the answer now.
Answer: Chewing gum.
Never seen this kind of painting before?
Try searching it now,
there are still tons of interesting pictures and sculpture that you may not have seen it before,
and everything amuses me.
I am like the frog in the well,
don't know what is outside of the world.
I'll show you another nice picture
Isn't it nice?
There are still many pencil carvings out there,
try looking it up on google.
Well, How I wish I can learn/ have the talent to carve this and give it to you.
But, I don't know why you had been treating me so cold,
it just simply breaks my heart.
I promised myself not to like anyone,
but why is it impossible?
I like the feeling of loving you,
but I hate the feeling of rejection,
I hate the feeling that I fork out so much time and effort but you don't appreciate it.
Well, No school today,
hate staying at home though I love my home,
I want to go out,
but tomorrow is N level maths Paper 2.
Okay, lets close with a prayer.
Copied from my brother :)
__________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Father,
I pray that I will only devote my time and effort to you know more about you and not other people Lord,
and Lord, I hope that you can give me the strength to get rid of this devil who is doing and making all these stuff to me lord, because lord, you are my master, not fear, not love and moreover, not the devil, lord. Thus lord, I wish that I can devote my time to you lord. And lord, please guide me through my crucial exams lord,
and not let me think of all the unimportant stuff lord, and lord, please guide Him, and everyone who is taking their upcoming exams lord, I also want to pray that they will not fall sick these few days. In Jesus name I say, Amen
Books
Tuesday, 5 October 2010 10:52 pm
3 and a half 'N' level paper is down,
I am still left with Maths paper 2, POA, and
O' level Chinese, E-maths and Art.
Well, quite stress these few days.
Studying, studying, studying.
But, well, I love studying.
Went Bishan with Yuxuan, Yiling and Shahadat.
Was laughing and stuff,
testing out all the pens and the pens section in Popular,
bought 2 pens in the end,
went to browse through the books at the books section,
Yuxuan recommended me " Chicken soup for the soul ",
flip through a few pages,
it was awesome,
there are so many books I want to buy,
how I wish that my present for my birthday will be BOOKS!
I really love studying now,
I feel that studying increases my knowledge.
I love it.
Went Bishan library with Yiling till 8.30,
picked out 2 books and borrowed it.
Going to read it later.
How I wish someday you will automatically sms me,
asking me how is my N level test,
but I guess you will never do that.
And I know why you say that his attitude is horrible,
I can now agree with you.
Jiayou for you E.O.Y
Either, Or
Monday, 4 October 2010 9:54 pm
Had been so awfully busy these few days,
basically because of the upcoming N levels these few days,
I don't want to get 19 points, instead, I want to get lesser than 19.
Was thinking about a lot of stuff these 2 days,
thinking about love, exams, future and friends.
Love;;
Who do I like?
Different attitude, different appearance, but same age.
Because the both of them treat me differently.
Well, shouldn't say how they treat me here,
but, those who know me should know who I am talking about.
Exams;;
What if I can't get 19 points and above,
getting kicked out of the school,
Where am I going to do if I got kicked out?
Future;;
What am I going to when I grow up,
Can I enter Chemical engineering course in Poly?
Thoughts are just running through my mind like running tap,
like what I did throughout my history lesson,
was thinking about the stuff he told me,
was smiling to myself throughout the whole paper,
scribbling on the extra sheets of foolscap,
writing letters to everyone,
but I crushed it away since I am not suppose to take any paper out of the examination hall.
So many things are on my mind,
I should just focus on my N's now and not love stuff,
but the stuff he told me and the smses we send,
just kept appearing in my mind,
I don't know how stop thinking,
Well, I just want you to know I like you better than I like him,
I hope that you will never ignore me,
I just want to say
Je t'aime
